Screeeeeeech!!!!!!!

I knew my days were numbered because the holidays are quickly approaching. Everytime the phone rings I imagine that it is Mommy Inlaw Dearest on the other end. And it is NEVER when she KNOWS her son will be here. So last night the phone rang, I saw it was her, I ignored it waiting to hear her annoying voice on the answering maching, when Karma took a big old walloping kick at my ass. My kid answered the phone!!! Holy shit. So I had to talk to her. Which really just makes me cringe and want to roll into a ball in the corner much like a wounded dog would. So while she babbled on and on and on about would be Thanksgiving day plans I searched for the nearest sharp knife to stab myself in the ears. Here is how the convo went:

Her: Hi! Just calling to find out if you had thought at all about your Thanksgiving plans this year. I didn't know what time "your family" would be getting together.

Me: My family will be out of town. (GOD I wish I were going with them)

Her: (MUCH TOO EXCITED) OH Really??? Well that is great! Then we'll see you at 3:00. And by the way we are having a Gluten free holiday. Because you know that your Sister in Law can't have gluten and well I want her to be able to enjoy the meal and all. You know it doesn't taste any different than regular food (this coming from the woman who uses powdered milk in practically everything), I don't think anyone will notice at all. She babbles on and on about everything and anything, tells me what all she is making and how she'll make it gluten free! And then basically lets me know that I am welcome to bring something to share (which she will conveniently forget to serve). Babble babble babble some more.

Finally amen, hallelujah the call is over.

The funny part is when hubby came home and I told him that his mom had called and that we were having a gluten free meal LOL!!!! He told me he'd rather lick a dog's ass and that we were bringing our own meal! OMG sometimes I want to fuck him right then and there! So now he is ordering our meal from a local restaurant, which we will be taking with us to the dinner. Not my plan although I am sure it will be blamed on me in the long run. But I can hardly wait to see the dust settle around this idea. Muahahahhaha!

Sybil-
getting myself medicated for the holidays