Mother in Law

So I have been avoiding my Mother in Law for 19 whole days now. It is amazing how much less stressful my life is when I don't have to see or talk to her. So the little one and I left this morning for some errands and come home to TWO freaking messages from the witch! Why do I have a feeling that she is going to start stalking me now. Oh yeah because she totally IS!

Hubster came home for lunch before he heads out of town today. We are sitting together and the phone rings again. I look at the Caller ID and see that it is her AGAIN, so I hand him the phone and tell him it is his mother. He looks at the caller ID, sets the phone down and proceeds to let it keep ringing. He doesn't want to talk to her either. Makes me feel so much less guilty for avoiding her to begin with. Besides now it is a sort of competition thing I have going on. It would be grand if I had until Thanksgiving off from her crazy. A girl can dream.

Sybil

WTF????

When what to my wandering eye should appear, but some fugly hammertoe creeping so near!

Really the only option for this person is to invest in:

a) years of make up pedis

b) Lots of close-toed shoes

c) probably some genetic testing would be a good idea!

And the Third Bloody Mary

SO SO SO excited to be able to write anonymously. You see my mother fucking inlaw found my blog recently and has decided to use it against me. So now I have a place to go where I feel comfortable saying exactly what I have wanted to say for so very long. And if you are a hag of a mother in law reading this shit, which I am sure my mother in law is not(cause she is so dumb she wouldn't know how to search for it), get your shit together. Nobody deserves your crackpot, psycho drama! You think I am an alcoholic? You might be the reason I ALWAYS drink at family functions. Feeling better, Much better.

Moving on... I am a mom, a wife and a stay at home mom and wife at that...going crazy one day at a time.

Sybil
...one day away from multiple personality disorders

Introducing Me!

Hello Everyone! Here we are. This is liberating for me! I've been lurking in the corner of my public blog, keeping much to myself. Not just because of the fact that my mom (aka June Cleaver) reads it, but also because there are just some things I want to shout out loud about without all the eye-rolling and whispering that goes along with living on "Wisteria Lane!" So here I sit, fingers trembling with excitement because I have so much pent up bitching to get out and I hardly know where to begin~

OH WAIT..I'll start where ALICE left off...with that man I live with, who is in the "Al Bundy" pose on the sofa, further imprinting it with his ass! He is feeling quite proud because he completed an AMAZING task that, in his eyes, is worthy of praise, worship, BJs and bragging my me! He mowed the lawn. Yes, we know that millions of folks mow their own lawns daily, and I even mow our lawn at times, but it takes MUCH more effort for him because his day is so much harder than mine and your's and his stress is surely greater than everyone you or I could possibly know! Mind Boggling??? Well, this shit happens each and every time he does anything that you or I consider just routine...unload the dishwasher, change a lightbulb..or better yet, a FILTER! Oh, and if he decides this year to clean out the gutters, I better be wearing leather and have whip cream ready when he gets home! Well, F_CK Y__ Y__ F_CK_NG F_CKF_C_! Would you like to buy a vowel???

-Sunny
With a Chance of Turrets

Commencement.

Here we are.
Now what?
There are so many things I could bitch about right this very second, but apparently I am suppose to make "dinner" and clean up some shit that's laying around this hell hole before my husband gets home and gives me the, "what the hell have you been doing all day" face.


--Alice
and this isn't fucking Wonderland.